Nothing Left to Lose
by theoriginalbritt
Summary: Just a little something i thought would be cool. Emily takes Hotch to her secret getaway spot. Song fic


**Good news! My muse has decided to come back from her long vacation, so now im just thinking of stories left and right! This is something i came up with after listening to this song, If you havent heard it, you should look it up, its a great song. Just so you know, the italicized words are the song lyrics, the bold italicized words are flashbacks and the italicized words in quotes are their thoughts. **

**Disclaimer: I dont own criminal minds or "Nothing Left to Lose" by Matt Kearney**

**Enjoy!**

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_Something's on the air tonight_

_The sky's alive with a burning light _

_You can mark my words something's about to break_

She had come by his office last night. Everyone else had left, leaving them alone to their unspoken thoughts.

_And I've found myself in a bitter fight_

_While I've held your hand through the darkest night_

_Don't know where you're coming from, but you're coming soon_

She told him that since they both had the day off tomorrow, she was going to take him somewhere. He said that he couldn't do it because he had to take care of Jack. While that was the main reason, he just wasn't up for doing anything.

_To a kid from Oregon, by way of California_

_All of this is more than I've ever known or seen_

She saw right through it, and revealed that she called his sister in law and asked her to watch Jack for the day, which of course she willingly agreed to. He was shocked that Emily would go behind his back and do that. He raised his voice a little, told her that she had no right to do that. She protested, claimed that he's barely left his house since Hayley's funeral and that he can't do it anymore because it's slowly killing him. He remembers what she said to him.

_Come on and we'll sing like we were free_

_Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us_

"_**Let me in, stop pushing me away" she said with a pleading look in her eyes**_

_Come on and we'll try one last time_

_I'm off of the floor, one more time to find you _

_**He just stood there and stared at the ground in silence. She sighed and stepped forward a bit.**_

"_**Aaron, I can't just stand around and watch you drown yourself in guilt." she shook her head back and forth slowly. "It hurts me too much." She added quietly.**_

_And here we go, there's nothing left to choose_

_And here we go, there's nothing left to lose_

_**He looked up, not expecting her confession. She looked tired and sad and he felt a pang of guilt knowing that he caused that sadness.**_

_**She saw the look on his face and shook her head quickly.**_

"_**No, don't blame yourself for my pain." There was a force in her voice that she's never used with him before. "My pain is my fault. I put myself in this position, and I would do it again in a heartbeat." Her dark eyes burned into him as she said this. **_

_**He nodded his head and she came and sat down next to him. She tucked her arm under his and laced their fingers together. He sighed as she tipped her head onto his shoulder. He laid his head on hers and they sat there like that for a long time. He realized then how truly lucky he was to have her in his life. She has been there for both him and Jack since Foyet. No, she's been there longer than that, since he and Hayley divorced. Whether it was just a simple good morning and good night ever day, she was there. **_

_**He breathed in her scent, vanilla and strawberries, he loved how she smelled. He loved how she cared for him even when she herself needed caring for. He loved everything about her. And then it hit him like a sack of bricks, he loved her. He was in love with Emily Prentiss.**_

_So I packed my car and I headed east_

_Where I felt your fire and sweet release_

_There's a fire in these hills that's coming down_

So now here he is, 5:56 a.m., waiting for his love to pick him up for a trip to a place unbeknownst to him. A knock at his door startles him from his thoughts. He opens the door and there she is, dressed in running shoes, blue jeans, a red t-shirt and a gray zip up hoodie that looks oddly familiar to him. Her hair is down and slightly wavy, just how he likes it.

"Ready to go?" she asks him, a hint of nervousness is present in her voice.

"I suppose I am. Do you mind telling me where you are taking me?" his voice is slightly husky from sleep

"Actually yes, I do mind." And with that, she snakes her arm around him, closes his door, and locks it with her key. He raises an eyebrow at her. She just smiles and shrugs.

"C'mon, we're gonna be late if we don't get moving!" she grabs his hand and leads him out of the building, to her car. He notices a picnic basket along with a blanket in the back seat.

"Hey!" she says quickly "No peeking!" she twists around and throws the blanket over the basket. Then she starts the car and proceeds to drive away from his apartment.

_And I don't know much but I found you here_

_And I cannot wait another year_

_Don't know where you're coming from, but you're coming soon_

The drive is without words. The wind acts as their radio, creating a peaceful melody that only they get to hear. Hotch decides to take advantage of this peace and take a short nap. An hour later they pull into their destination. Emily turns to look at Hotch, his face is calm and the stoic mask she's so familiar with has faded away. She's in love with him, no doubt in her mind about that. She made that little discovery right after Foyet's attack, while she was sitting with him in the hospital. Then she heard his promise to Hayley. That promise shattered her heart into a thousand tiny pieces. Still, after all that, she didn't hesitate to let him lean on her. She kept letting him and before she knew it, she was in too deep. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't leave him any more than she could leave the BAU.

Suddenly, his eyes flutter open and she can feel herself blushing for being caught watching him sleep.

"I uh…we're here." She stutters. He looks around, confusion settling on his handsome face. They're parked in a field that's surrounded by woods. Suddenly he feels like he's in a slasher film.

"Where exactly is here?" he's hoping she'll finally tell him.

"You'll see" she exits the vehicle before he can respond.

Access denied.

He sighs and gets out too, following her to the front of the car where she's patiently waiting.

"Ready?" she asks, holding the basket and blanket in one of her arms.

"Yeah I'm ready, for what though, I'm not sure."

She just smiles and holds her free hand out for him to take. He gladly does so, and they walk towards the woods.

_I can still hear the trains out my window_

_From Hobart Street to here in Nashville_

She leads them down a path for a while, and then suddenly she turns onto another path that is almost completely hidden by bushes and trees. He stops, feeling slightly uneasy about going off the normal path.

"It's okay" she says softly "I've been here before, lots of times." He nods and begins to walk again, still holding her hand tightly.

_I can still smell the pomegranates grow_

_And I don't know how hard this wind will blow_

_Or where we'll go _

After about ten minutes of walking, the woods suddenly come to an end, opening up into another field. The field leads to a cliff that's blocked off by a mere white fence. There is a single, yet large, tree that is close to the fence. Under the tree is a bench that also faces the fence.

They walk over to the bench and Hotch lets out a gasp. The view is incredible. Beneath the cliff is a beautiful valley that stretches on for miles. He turns to look at Emily. She's staring out into the valley, her face soft and serene. She faces him and smiles; he just stares into her eyes. They're full of peace and happiness, which makes him want to stare at them for eternity. He could if she would let him.

"We made it just in time" she says happily, smiling that million dollar smile of hers. He can't help but smile back, giving her some dimple action. This only makes her smile bigger.

"Just in time for what?" he questions softly, still staring at her. She blushes slightly and turns her head towards the valley. "For that" she answers, barely above a whisper.

_Come on and we'll sing like we were free_

_Push the pedal down, watch the world around fly by us_

He looks too, just in time to see the sun rising above the land, unleashing its burning light upon the darkened world. He's in complete awe at the beauty of it. He looks back at Emily, her face contains the same awe he feels. Taking advantage of the moment, he pulls her into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around her neck and just stands there with her. She immediately wraps her arms around his waist, breathing in the scent of his aftershave.

_Come on and we'll try one last time_

_I'm off of the floor, one more time to find you_

"Thank you Emily" he whispers into her ear, still holding her tightly against him. She shivers involuntarily at the act and pulls back just enough to look at him.

"Anytime Aaron" she smiles warmly at him, he returns the gesture with a kiss. It's just a small kiss, but big enough to raise some questions.

"_Did he just kiss me? Oh my god he just kissed me!" _Emily thinks happily_ "Oh, I should probably say something" _she looks up at him and sees a panicked look on his face.

"Emily, I'm sorry, I just-"she cuts him off quickly

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" she asks, slightly hurt by his apology. He looks up at her face and feels a pang of guilt at her expression. Her eyes that were filled with joy not ten minutes ago are now full of hurt. He realizes his mistake.

"No, Em, I didn't mean that I'm sorry about kissing you, I'm sorry about not giving you any notice before hand" he says quickly as he walks closer to her.

"You're not sorry about kissing me?"she asks in a hushed tone.

He shakes his head rapidly "No of course not." He takes her hands in his "Truthfully, I've wanted to do that for a while now." Her expression immediately changes from hurt to something that he can't quite figure out. Hope, maybe?

"That's funny, because I've wanted to do that for a while too." She says quietly, glancing down at their laced fingers, subconsciously tracing patterns on the back of his hand. He smiles widely at her confession, a new found warmth burning inside of his chest. He brings one hand up to her face, forcing her to look at him. They stare at each other for a moment, and then she closes the gap between them and gently presses her lips against his. He puts one hand on her hip and the other still cups the side of her face as one of her arms wraps around his neck while the fingers of the other hand run through his hair.

_Come on and we'll sing like we were free _

_Push the pedal down, watch the world around fly by us_

They break apart and allow themselves to breathe. He smiles at her, showing both dimples, causing her pulse to quicken. She grabs his hand and leads him over to the bench where their food is waiting.

_Come on and we'll try one last time_

_I'm off of the floor one more time to find you_

"What did you bring?" he asks curiously glancing over to the open basket.

"Muffins, scones and coffee" she replies as she unfolds the blanket and lays it on the grass. She sits down and pats her hand on the spot next to her.

"Come here" she says. He happily obliges, sitting down closely to her. She shifts closer to him, taking in his warmth. He watches her as she unpacks the food and coffee, organizing them in her preferred order.

"Emily, we need to talk about us" he states softly. She pauses but quickly returns to her little project. The pause was barely noticeable, but he's trained to notice those types of things. "Nothing bad sweetie, I just think we need to figure out how we're going to do this."

She turns to look at him. "Do you want to be with me?" her question catches him off guard.

"What?" he asks dumbfounded. Did he not just prove that to her?

"You heard me" she answers in a soft, but firm tone. Her eyes burn into him once again.

_Come on and we'll sing like we were free_

"Yes Emily, of course I want to be with you" his voice holds hints of bewilderment and shock. He grabs her hands and pulls her over to where she's practically straddling him. He wraps his arms behind her back so she can't move away. She stares at him, slightly shocked at his actions.

_Push the pedal down, watch the world around fly by us_

"Emily, you mean the world to me. You brought light into my life after I thought the darkness had already consumed me. I can't imagine living in a world without you, it would be unbearable. I can't even begin to thank you for being there for me, but I'm going to try and make it up to you every day until my very last breath, if you'll let me." By now her eyes have filled with tears that threaten to pour over at any moment. She leans down and kisses him softly.

_Come on and we'll try one last time_

"I think I can live with that" she whispers to him as she pulls away. He smiles at her and kisses her quickly before letting her go. "Come on, we need to eat before our food gets cold." He says, reaching for a blueberry muffin. "So how did you find this place?" he asks.

She snatches up a cinnamon chip scone before answering. "My dad took me here once. We just sat there on the bench and talked for hours." She smiles at the memory. As quickly as it appeared, the smile fades and her eyes turn sad. Hotch notices immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asks with concern. She turns to him and gives him a sad smile. "Just remembering something about my dad." She sighs as she pats his knee "But that's a story for another day"

He nods his head, showing that he understands. She'll tell him when she's ready. She gets up and begins packing the leftovers. "We'd better head back, it's about a two hour drive back and I told your sister in law that you'd pick Jack up around 3:00."

He smiles at her thoughtfulness and helps her finish packing. Twenty minutes later they're in her car, hand in hand, starting their journey back home.

_I'm off of the floor, one more time to find you_

The drive home is without words. The wind acts as their radio and Hotch decides to take another nap. He lays his head back and quickly falls into a peaceful slumber, still holding Emily's hand tightly in his.

_And here we go, there's nothing left to choose_

_And here we go, there's nothing left to lose_

_

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**It's really long, i know, but let me know what you think? I would very much appreciate it!**_


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